Ya Rabbb

betapa aku inginkan seperti apa yg mereka nikmati, namun x ku pasti apakah dugaan yang dihadapi oleh mereka di sebalik kenikmatan itu.mungkin kah aku layak atau mampu seperti mereka...atau aku yang tidak cukup berusaha.bukan ku cemburu jauh sekali dengki...kdg2 aku malu, malu dgn diri ini...betapa tiada apa2..tapi siapa aku untuk mngatakan bhawa im nothing...rahmat Allah yang dinikmati saat ini sudah cukup berharga...ya Allah afiatkan lah aku, cukupkan lah keperluan ku, murahkanlah rezeki ku, berilah aku peluang berbakti pd ibu bapa ku, berilah aku rezeki mu untuk ku membantu kedua adikku...doa ku disetiap waktu..sesungguhnya aku masih lagi memperkasakan diri untuk berpegang pd usaha dan tawakal..ini jalan yang kutemui, jalan jiwa seorang manusia, ketika aku terkapai2, merenung kosong stp masalah yang menjengah, setiap kelalaian yang membadai...datangnya perasaan yang memikirkan mengenai pengharapan...kepada siapa patut ku serahkan segala pengharapan...human, would never escape from dream....di saat ini cuma zikir yg menghiburkan hati yg gulana, betapa aku ingin hilangkan nya dr wajah ini, bersihkan nya dari hati ini...tp aku kan cuma manusia...terlalu banyak yg diinginkan, diharapkan.....kpd siapa aku ingin berkongsi rasa ini...?tiada..benarlah hanya yang Esa, sang pencipta yang kita ada bilamana mahluk sesama kita tidak mampu mnjadi tempat untuk menumpangkan gelodak perasaan...bf?fb?it wold be just nothing when they are just cant help...i feel want to run away...away to where i am not sure at all..

i cannot cry as i hate crying and it would be a bit difficult to see me crying....i dont find that cring can resolve anything....ya Allah betapa aku inginkan ketenangan mu....

lady joli xoxoxoxo....

memory

browsing & looking...sigh...im not mean to get another chance but i do miss it..yes, the time i mean. it was just sweet & fun.

lady joli xoxoxo

back again..piiiiiiipppppp give me time!!!

wooooohooooo...finally i can retrieve those password and id...sekian lama aku mmendam hasrat untuk mencoret2 kat cni....seperti dulu..~~~~~...spt dulu aku yang sibuk nak berblog mcm org lain...time tu aku sibuk jugak baca blog org lain.well sometimes it was just fun things to do. At this moment,i dont really have an idea of to what i can write here.

not much to write.just about hour ago, i read back those previous post...hiiiii kelakar duiiii...so now nak mengaktivkan semula jari jemari ni...kut2 x la aku giler tido seawal yg aku suke...x productive!!at least i will start to revise all my favourite books & article...kalau diizinkan Tuhan, i will be more serious in doing those comparison...insyaAllah....~~~=)..new me taddaaaaa....i dont have to say much but i dare say that right now i've found the way......the way that soooo controversial....=).....ap2 saja la, i will cerita2 that later...skrg ni lets change those layout...kasi cool & sweet ckit...

isyak sudah, wuduk pun sudah.....tido la wahai mata dgn mengucapkan....

lady joli xoxoxo......march 2013

post for self

its really a bad month...not even for two month im staying here, ss15 subang jaya...which my sis say jinx area, yes it is..full with shit old women , not to indicating what race, but true enuf as my fren say..they are only looking for money, can talk so nice and also can turn into great evil...shit fucker women. luckily i rent here before as it was emergency and she agreed to accept deposit by installment..well that is not a credit for me to say she is good..of coz die nak after some phone interview regarding my career...and expecting that ive lots of saving..lol..laugh at my self also...

sigh..just to mention for own self,its not that i cant pay the rental, its only a matter of time...and some more dont want to accept my counter offer to pay rental every 1st week of every month.

thinking of to increase the rent too..what a an old women.really an evil follower.well, not suprise actually, as the rental is not secured by any legal covenant..what can i say..

so now..die da amik duit ak 350 dep and xtra 350 sewa nov, which ak akn blah dr rumah bedebah tu seawal yg mungkin..no one would understand my condition..yes it is stupid to surrender right and money easily without at least some fighting on it...but what for is the fight if i dun have any strong basis...what left for me is do whatever is necessary.wont let you be so happy when im leaving fucking lad...

i know she wnt me to get off, as she want increase the room rent and definitely can find those rich to pay 400..and allowed more male tenant.she is..gosh..i better go rather than stand in only because of dep paid!!

evil!now not only viewd as looser by my own sis and also by my so called my dearest bf..of coz for me he is my dearest, as i love him like no other candidate out there...(lol for me)..lot of laugh at me, i know its rude and sound self degrading..but that is the fact right.nway.., im not regret to dating him..i know what i want.just that sometimes he can be one of those who cant understand me!!i know that im complicated person..=P

haish..i really thankful for my sister syl...

hmm...luckily before ak mencarut lebih2...ive accidentally closed this page, and tergendala jap..and during the pending post, i received a sms from my sis...what a happines to hear that my 1st niece, esther...she proclaimed that her new name is esther rosella, managed to be at num 1 in her class among 25, she is still 6 years, i know that she is one of the brilliant!!see la who tk care on her last time...hi3...really miss the time i stay with the family back in 2006..she was small little gal at that time..adorable, which is till now!and she will represent her class for choral speaking during the hari anugrah cemerlang..Thanks to God for blessing my family with such clever and beautiful girl.and wonderful thing is she can remember celine song..to love you more!!

she is adorable...=)

hmmm..nasib la ad story best, at least kurang la ckit kesakitan hati aku ni......tp still x ok lg ni. x pindah kuar lg dr rumah tu, and at anytime pompuan tu bley dtg bising2...eeee..=^^^^

nway, jangan stress..be cool, and benarla kata org Allah itulah tempat sebenar kite untuk mengadu dan menyerah..hoh..i wish somebody is near to me, teach me to the way that i intended to..

now i need to be more careful, in future...im thinking that i need to be a bit choosy, in term of to stay with whom..see what happen now..grrrr..

k, wnt to go off...settle my room and see when can move out...

lady joli

back again!!!

hmmm..it was about a month i didnt post anything.this blog is already full with dust (as if it is a diary/journal) ..bydway, now i am posting this from Subang Jaya, which a month ago my blog was updated from BTS...

so, now already moving to Subang Jaya, new room, new job, new responsibility, new time management...everything is new!!!life change even without plan...!well, sometimes im trying to re track what are actually the reasons why im moving to subang..sigh...the job scope of course, though the payment is not that encouraged...

i would say that i want to understand more on things which i learn during my study, law field, i mean...and yes, here i am learning those things..litigation,conveyancing, matrimonial matters, and firm (office) management as well. and in a way of improving my communication skill with these brilliants lawyer here, while my English is like budak sekolah...owh my, really need to improve!

talk about what am i goin to do after this??thought of continue my study, but that will cost a lot, man!!so, i would say, that is depends on what my fate will be..for the time being, working and having own income is the priority. or maybe if i will got a chance to be a teacher, which was my initial planning, before i jumped into law field,....then i will go for it.u see, even with a degree qualification, life is not that easy..everyday is a bout learning and making decision.

okkkey...leave that things above..lets finish this day 1st..=)

TRUELY,

Lady joli of october

mood raya yg lalu..~

Learn something from somebody’s blog…err….Appreciate your beloved one….i mean a guy that u called as bf/kekasih hati/dear..or whatsoever name that in used.

Ok,my dear abi… it’s not that I am not appreciate you nor our r/ship by less mentioning about us here/or share our pict here.not enough time would be my truth reason.

Just to share some raya stories here,bwat tatapan masa depan jugak! 1^st day,2,3 rd day raya,just spending time at home..Still need to have some chill at mid valley on the 2^nd day,3^rd day raya. Window shopping and as usual melantak wit my sis at our noodle station and little penang café.marv..the menu never cause disappointment..=)

Then proceed my tumpang raya on the 5 and 6 day of raya at Kelantan!there you are!time to satisfied my nafsu mkan..he3!what a moment,cooking ayam percik putih and lontong with mama nje..(bf’s mum actually).it just that I don’t feel more to that,so it is not very difficult to spend time with her.admire to see her…a mom of 9 children,working women but would say she had a lovely life while no fail on religions education among all the family member. Just like my mummy….a hardworking women with 7 children, and obedient follower of SDA religion..

Back to my masak2 moment,berjaya jugak ayam percik itu..yummy..x smpat amik gmbar cause too excited and eager to eat!

Actually Malay food and my own race cultural are not very diverse. Even actually, at my own house I never want to eat tempoyak with ulam!but then, suddenly taste yummy when I am in Kelantan, and when my housemate,Min, cook the sambal tempoyak!goodness……licking finger!

So now..at BTS back,with office things,and 9 sept will be my last day at Bolton Optical Group!! Feel a lots..sad,happy comes rogether.

truely,

LADY JOLI

no title

Almost end of August..Ramadhan over, Syawal is coming. Means will have the 3 days public holiday..What will be in my list of “ to do”? Nothing yet actually,maybe eating and watching TV. Since 2008, I was trying to spend my raya holiday with frens,bf actually.with his family and frens. But not this year, not sure if the real difficulty is because I dun have enough time, or I am in different. Let see if I will have time after the holiday.

Ok, forget about the festival.( almost forgot that, the Merdeka is soon coming.) Thanks to God as the nation where I live is still in control though the real demon are unidentified. Like other youngsters, we are eager to find life,wealth,love..life nowadays is a competition. Laziness and sorrow will make me lost and finally become nothing. But at the same time, some maybe lost as it is true you would not always at the top. At the time for you to be at the lower level, soreness will come. Then where to turn?

Would I say this is the time to think..ohh God,why am i in this situation..Except one that never have a belief on the existent of God. Personally saying, it is not easy to proclaim and set own mind that I am a free thinker..In other word, I don’t embrace any religion that belief in God. Bullshit….in fact I am searching for something. (not disclosed yet)

Another things to jot down,some people say” do what you want to do and not what others would like you to do.”

Sound excellent! But how far can we accomplish it? In what sense? When it is practicable? I am wondering too, as I am trying hard to see where and make it realistic. its all about what you hold..sigh think and do,observe and change..

then as a growing up girl,would i say the above is what am i think now..let see next after 3,4 years...

another few days,my dear bf will come back.May God with him during his journey back..at the same time hoping for some positive changes between us.Again, i would say i still believe what is called "bless".

truely,

LADY JOLI xxxx =)